BONUS NUMBER 129: ARE YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER?
(Did You Sleep With the Models?)
A friend of mine jokes that “people are dying that never died before.” Death is sometimes a joking matter — until you face the unsettling fact that one day your time will be up. When I think of crossing those chilly waters into the unknown, a brighter current brings this thought: Donald Trump will die…Putin will die…Netanyahu and Kim Jong Un will die, and so will every other genocidal dictator.
So will we all.
When George Heymont, a frequent contributor, submitted this feature to Mandate, the great threat to gays, and to the progress made since Stonewall, was AIDS. A stupid Republican president was in the White House then, and despite his obstructions, that terrible illness is now controlled to some extent, and the immediate threat is the insane coke head and Russian patsy Donald Trump, along with Nazi-saluting, drug-addicted Elon Musk, and the gang of retarded nitwits in the Trump administration who are working 24/7 to wreck American democracy and shred the Constitution. And who kiss the ass of war criminials such as Vladimir Putin and Benjamin Netanyahu.
If you are intestate — I know, it sounds vaguely sexual but it means only that you risk dying without a will — I urge you to read this article. Some of it is dated, of course; how could it be otherwise after forty years? But the advice and the warnings are as relevant as ever. Never forget that Trump and those like him want to destroy everything gay in the world. They won’t succeed, but the amount of their damage cannot be calculated. Millions of right wing Republicans have same-sex marriage in their crosshairs, with the hope that corrupt Supreme Court Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch, and Brett Kavanaugh will overturn Obergefell v. Hodges as they struck down Roe v. Wade in 2022.
At the end of George Heymont’s feature, I’ve added a clipping and tips from several gay papers that offer strong advice to those making wills in 2025.
ADVICE FOR ESTATE PLANNING AND WILLS IN 2025:
FURTHER ADVICE FROM RECENT GAY PUBLICATIONS:
Remove the word “spouse” in your will and power of attorney and replace it with the full legal name of your husband/wife. This precaution protects your wishes in case same-sex marriage is overturned.
Make provision in legal documents not only for children, friends, charities, but also for your pets. Rather than naming each pet — they might predecease you — it is better to state something along these lines: “I request my (executor) (legatee) (husband/wife) to provide for any pets I may have at the time of my death, and to continue, for the duration of their natural lives, such care as I myself would give. It is my strongest wish that no animal owned by me at the time of my death is to be abandoned or removed to a shelter.”
Make sure all documents are up-to-date and accurate, e.g., birth certificate, passport, driver’s license, marriage license, adoption order, power of attorney, etc. Keep them in a safe place where they are readily accessible to those who might have valid need for them — but inaccessible to others. When you travel, keep a photocopy of your passport and driver’s license in a separate piece of luggage from your carry-on. A friend of mine who didn’t have a copy of his license lost his wallet in Los Angeles and had to wait ten days — and be interviewed by the TSA — before he could fly home.
Consider donations to Lambda Legal and the ACLU. You can of course name these organizations in your will either with specific amounts or as recipient of the bulk of your estate after all expenses are paid following your death. (SS: My own preference is PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.)
Make certain that your executor/legatee/spouse/family member knows exactly what you want done with your remains, whether funeral, memorial service or neither; burial, cremation, or donation to medical research. Make your wishes known in a proper legal document. Would you want a stupid fundamentalist preacher drooling over your casket and declaring you in hell?
Execute a durable power of attorney and a medical power of attorney. These documents will ensure that the right person is making financial and medical decisions for you if you should be unable to do so yourself.
It is often advisable to state in your will such information as, “I have never been married and I have no children,” if that is the case. One never knows who might show up when you’re dead claiming to be your long lost whatever. You might also name those who have no claim to any portion of your estate, e.g., “I state in the strongest possible terms that my estranged first cousin John Smith, of Staten Island, has no claim…,” etc.
This pertains to the living: If you live alone, arrange with a close friend, a relative, or a neighbor — perhaps one who also lives alone — to phone, text, or email each other every day. Otherwise, you could lie ill or dead for days and no one would know. An acquaintance of mine lay on the floor of his house in a coma for four days before he was found. He’s lucky; he lived to tell about it, though he will never fully recover. One system that works well is for Friend X to text or email Friend Y on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; Friend Y does so on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Sunday is up for grabs.
Get the best lawyer you can find. Then, once all your documents are in order, go swimming.
Great advice and timely. I need to do this. Thanks. Jeff