EXTRA! J.D. VANCE AS CLEOPATRA?

(Did You Sleep With the Models?)

Forget about Trump’s insane tariffs, the collapsing stock market, genocide in Ukraine and Gaza, deportation of innocent American citizens, worsening climate change, and Katie Perry kissing dirt on her return from space. (There was widespread hope the spaceship would not return.)

The real news is J.D. Vance’s eye liner. V.P Chickenshit is country come to town, and just dying to try out “all them thangs I never seen back in Possum Swamp, Kentucky!”

Top: If Elizabeth Taylor were alive, her likely reaction to this chickenshit Vice President; center, V.P. Chickenshit; bottom, he plans to wear full-face as the grieving widow at Trump’s funeral, since Melania will be otherwise engaged.

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“Kiss me, Stupid.”

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WHEN QUEENS COLLIDE: Mike Johnson’s panties in a twist because…“J.D.’s eye makeup is stunning, but men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses! I’m gonna toss this tumbler of water at her!”

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