BONUS NUMBER 117: A MAGA WELCOME TO THE ROBERT F. KENNEDY, JR., CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS
(formerly known as The John F. Kennedy Center)
President Donald Trump and First Gentleman Elon Musk take great pride in announcing the new lineup at the new Kennedy Center, now under exclusive artistic management by the White House.
Opening April 1, 2025, “Concerto in X,” by Kanye West (aka Ye, aka God). This stunning new work, which the artist dedicates to Mr. Musk, incorporates themes and melodies from Mr. West’s previous Grammy-winning hits. Perhaps the most astonishing section of the concerto, which is designated by the composer as allegro ma non troppo, weaves traditional folk tunes, rap, ska, bluegrass, drums, and objets trouvés from medical waste into “The Antisemitism Waltz,” which is sure to cause comment in the liberal media.
On April 15, forget paying your taxes! (The IRS is shuttered and all employees dismissed by DOGE.) It’s Hee Haw - the Opera, with cast to be announced. If you loved it on TV, you’ll love it even more on the stage at the Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Center for the Performing Arts. (Anti-vaxers and crippled measles survivors admitted half-price before 7:00 P.M.) This is not a typical operatic story of broken hearts and deathbeds; that European genre, a so-called “art form,” was invented by resentful NATO countries. Such negativity has no place in our Great Again America. No, this is rib-ticklin’ and foot-stompin’ hillbilly man music. Who needs Renee Fleming?
The really big surprise scheduled for June: An Evening with Leni Riefenstahl. In this one-woman show, the famous German filmmaker recalls her legendary career as Hitler’s premiere director. Frau Riefenstahl is played by — you didn’t know she was also an actress, did you? — Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene!
“Leni loved a powerful leader,” said the congresswoman, “and so do I. Hitler and Trump are both go-getters! Another thing I have in common with Leni: she made Germany great again, and…”
In the heat of July, what could be more refreshing than The Alaska Purchase? As evidence of the President’s rollicking sense of humor, he commissioned this Mel Brooks-type musical comedy to show his enemies that he has nothing to hide. He even posed for the publicity poster:
In the show, Russia buys back Alaska for the same price the United States paid for the vast frozen waste in 1867: $7.2 million. “Comrade” Putin, as he is hilariously called in the show, crosses Sarah Palin’s famous Bridge to Nowhere, and on it he meets none other than the American Commander in Chief. They perform a screamingly funny patter song and soft shoe routine, with lyrics in Russian (supertitles in English). A sample:
President Trump: “Oh Mr. Putin, oh Mr. Putin, Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Comrade Putin: “Why Uncle Donald, why Uncle Donald, To get to the other side — And take over a country without one shot being fired!”
In this exchange, you will note echoes of the the minstrel show, a genre beloved by Americans before it caused displeasure to special-interest groups and was banned. The good news is this: President Trump has promised to bring it back better than ever, right here at the Kennedy Center. “There is nothing wrong with blackface,” said Mr. Trump, “that’s why the Kennedy Minstrels are very white.”
The Purchase of Alaska pokes good-natured fun at everyone, especially the two superpower presidents. For example:
President Trump: “Vladimir, Vladimir, my bolshoi brat,1 the Democrats claim you have a video (ha ha) of two prostitutes pissing on me in a Moscow hotel room. What a (ha ha) laugh, nyet?
Comrade Putin: “We do.”
The entire satirical show is a scalding rebuke to those effete critics who maintain that President Putin “has something” on President Trump. If this were true, would the American chief executive permit such a show to take place in his own personal hippodrome? The Alaska Purchase proves there are no skeletons in the White House closet.
The show also attests that Mr. Trump has the most infectious sense of humor since his predecessor, the 45th President — Donald Trump himself!
In repertory with The Alaska Purchase during July and August, a monochromatic revue with authentic costumes and weaponry…yes, it’s The Gulag Follies, celebrating a quaint institution known to many citizens of Mother Russia. And overdue for revival.
Большой Брат = big brother